• monty python'un en komik skeçlerinden biri. chicago - new york treninin kafeterya vagonunda iki sarhoş ingiliz ve bir amerikalı ile beraber oynayıp bir grup canı sıkılmış, sigara içme saatini bekleyen amerikalıyı eğlendirmeyi başarmıştık.

    cleese: 'ello i wish to register a complaint! 'ello, miss.
    palin: what do you mean 'miss'?
    cleese: i'm sorry, i have a cold. i wish to make a complaint!
    palin: sorry, we're closing for lunch.
    cleese: never mind that, my lad. i wish to complain about this parrot what i purchased not 'alf an hour ago from this very boutique!
    palin: oh yeah. the norwegian blue. what's wrong with it?
    cleese: i'll tell you what's wrong with it. it's dead, that's what's wrong with it.
    palin: no, no. it's resting. look!
    cleese: look, my lad, i know a dead parrot when i see one and i'm looking at one right now.
    palin: no, no, it's not dead. it's resting.
    cleese: resting?
    palin: yeah. remarkable bird, the norwegian blue. beautiful plumage, innit?.
    cleese: the plumage don't enter into it. it's stone dead.
    palin: no, no. it's resting.
    cleese: all right, then, if it's resting, i'll wake it up. hello, polly. i've got a nice cuttlefish for you when you wake up, polly parrot!
    palin: [hits cage] there! it moved!
    cleese: no, it didn't. that was you pushing the cage.
    palin: i did not!
    cleese: yes, you did. hello polly! polly! polly parrot, wake up! polly! [hits parrot on counter then throws it on the floor] now, that's what i call a dead parrot!
    palin: no, no. it's stunned!
    cleese: look, my lad, i've had just about enough of this. that parrot is definitely deceased. and when i bought it not 'alf an hour ago you assured me that it's lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squak.
    palin: it's probably pinin' for the fjords.
    cleese: pinin' for the fjords? what kind of talk is that? look, why did it fall flat on it's back the moment i got it home
    palin: the norwegian blue prefers kippin' on it's back. beautiful bird. lovely plumage.
    cleese: look, i took the liberty of examining that parrot and i discovered that only reason that it had been sitting on it's perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there.
    palin: well, of course it was nailed there. otherwise it would 'ave muscled up to those bars and voom...
    cleese: look matey, this parrot wouldn't voom if i put four thousand volts through it. it's bleedin' demised.
    palin: it's not. it's... it's pinin'.
    cleese: it's not pinin'. it's passed on. this parrot is no more. it has ceased to be. it's expired and gone to meet it's maker. this is a late parrot. it's a stiff. bereft of life, it rests in peace. if you hadn't nailed it to the perch it would be pushing up the daisies. it's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. this is an ex-parrot!
    palin: well, i better replace it then.
    cleese: if you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain till you're blue in the mouth.
    palin: sorry, guv. we're right out of parrots.
    cleese: i see, i see. i get the picture.
    palin: i've got a slug.
    cleese: does it talk?
    palin: not really, no.
    cleese: well, it's scarcely a replacement then, is it?
    palin: listen, i'll tell you what, tell you what. if you go to my brother's pet shop in bolton he'll replace your parrot for you.
    cleese: bolton, eh?
    palin: yeah.
    cleese: alright.
    caption: a similar pet shop in bolton, lancs.
    [same pet shop. palin has a moustache on]
    cleese: [looks around and sees his parrot cage] eh, excuse me. this is bolton, is it?
    palin: no, no. it's ipswich.
    cleese: that's intercity rail for you.
    [train station. complaints department]
    cleese: i wish to make a complaint.
    jones: i don't 'ave to do this, you know.
    cleese: [looks around in surprise] i beg your pardon
    jones: i'm a qualified brain surgeon. i only do this 'cause i like being me own boss.
    cleese: excuse me, this isn't relevant, is it?
    jones: no, it's not easy to .???. thirty minutes.
    cleese: well, i wish to make a complaint. i got on the bolton train and found myself deposited here, in ipswich.
    jones: no, no. this is bolton.
    cleese: the pet shop's owner's brother was lying.
    jones: well, you can't blame british rail for that. hehe.
    cleese: if this is bolton, i shall return to the pet shop.
    caption: a little later limited.
    [pet shop]
    cleese: i understand that this is bolton.
    palin: yeah.
    cleese: well, you told me it was ipswich.
    palin: it was a pun.
    cleese: a pun?
    palin: no, no, not a pun. no, what's the other thing where it reads the same backwards as forwards.
    cleese: a palindrome?
    palin: yeah, yeah.
    cleese: that's not a palindrome. a palindrome of bolton would be notlob. it don't work
    palin: look, what do you want?
    cleese: no, i'm sorry. i'm not prepared to pursue my line of enquiry any further as i think this is getting too silly.
    [enter colonel]
    chapman: quite agree, quite agree. silly, silly, silly. right, get on with it. get on with it!
  • monty python'in en unlu skecidir. "full frontal nudity" bolumunde bulunur. pet shop'dan olu papagan satin almi$ bir insan olarak john cleese, pet shop sahibi olarak michael palin ve istasyon gorevlisi olarak terry jones oynar.
  • sozleri a$agidaki gibidir.

    a perfectly ordinary pet shop. a tall customer in a hideous top-buttoned pacamac, bird cage [and bird] in hand, enters. this is mr. praline.)

    mr. praline : 'ello. i wish to register a complaint.

    (the owner has his back to the register and does not respond.)

    mr. praline : 'ello, miss?

    owner : (turning around, very angry) what do you mean, "miss"?

    mr. praline : i'm sorry, i have a cold.

    (the owner nods, understanding.)

    mr. praline : i wish to make a complaint!

    owner : (hurriedly) sorry, we're closin' for lunch...!

    mr. praline : never mind that, my lad. i wish to complain about this parrot, what i purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

    owner : oh yes, the, ah, the norwegian blue... what's, ah... w-what's wrong with it?

    mr. praline : i'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. it's dead, that's what's wrong with it.

    owner : no, no, 'e's ah... he's resting.

    mr. praline : look, matey, i know a dead parrot when i see one, and i'm looking at one right now.

    owner : no no, h-he's not dead, he's, he's restin'!

    mr. praline : restin'?

    owner : y-yeah, restin.' remarkable bird, the norwegian blue, isn't it, eh? beautiful plumage!

    mr. praline : the plumage don't enter into it. it's stone dead!

    owner : nononono, no, no! 'e's resting!

    mr. praline : all right then, if he's resting, i'll wake him up!

    (shouting at the cage)

    'ello, polly! mister polly parrot! i've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you wake up, mr. polly parrot...

    (owner hits the cage)

    owner : there, he moved!

    mr. praline : no, he didn't, that was you pushing the cage!

    owner : i never!!

    mr. praline : yes, you did!

    owner : i never, never....

    (he pulls the parrot out of the cage and screams into its ear.)

    mr. praline : 'ello pollaaaaaaay! poll-ee! polly parrot! wake up!

    (he bangs its head against the store counter, horribly hard.)

    testiiiing! testiiiing! this is your nine-o' clock alarm call!

    (he does it again, harder.)

    poll-eeeeeee!

    (he tosses it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor. longish pause.)

    now that's what i call a dead parrot.

    owner : no, no.... no, he's stunned.

    mr. praline : stunned?

    owner : yeah! you stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! norwegian blues stun easily, major.

    mr. praline : look my lad, i've had just about enough of this. that parrot is definitely deceased, and when i bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.

    owner : well, he's... he's, ah... probably pining for the fjords.

    (praline looks angrily back and forth, stuttering.)

    mr. praline : pinin' for the fjords? what kind of talk is that? look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment i got 'im home?

    owner : the norwegian blue prefers kippin' on its back! remarkable bird, isn't it, guv, eh? lovely plumage!

    mr. praline : (coldly) look, i took the liberty of examining that parrot when i got it home, and i discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been nailed there.

    (pause)

    owner : well, of course it was nailed there! if i hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its little pecker, and voom!

    mr. praline : "voom?"

    (praline puts the cage down and take the parrot into his hands.)

    mr. praline : look matey, this parrot wouldn't "voom" if you put four thousand volts through it! it's bleedin' demised!

    owner : it's not! i-it's pining!

    mr. praline : it's not pinin,' it's passed on! this parrot is no more! it has ceased to be! it's expired and gone to meet its maker! this is a late parrot! it's a stiff! bereft of life, it rests in peace! if you hadn't nailed him to the perch he would be pushing up the daisies! its metabolical processes are of interest only to historians! it's hopped the twig! it's shuffled off this mortal coil! it's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible! this.... is an ex-parrot! (bkz: ex olmak)

    (pause)

    owner : well, i'd better replace it, then.

    (he disappears behind the counter.)

    mr. praline : (turning to camera) if you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain 'til you're blue in the mouth.

    (the owner returns.)

    owner : sorry guv, we're fresh out of parrots.

    mr. praline : i see. i see, i get the picture.

    owner : (quietly) i-i've got a slug.

    (pause)

    mr. praline : (sweet as sugar) does it talk?

    owner : not really, no.

    mr. praline : well, it's scarcely a bloody replacement then, is it?

    owner : listen, i'll tell you what, tell you what, if you go to my brother's pet shop in bolton, he'll replace your parrot for you.

    mr. praline : bolton, eh?

    owner : yeah.

    mr. praline : all right.

    (he leaves.)

    (caption: "a similar pet shop in bolton, lancashire")

    (the customer enters a very similar pet shop, with a sign on the front reading "similar pet shops, ltd." the owner, who looks similar to his brother, is putting on a large false moustache in order to better distinguish himself from his brother. which he isn't. praline looks about and finds it to be very similar indeed. and when he finds his same bird cage, with the same dead bird inside, that just about clinches it.)

    mr. praline : uh, excuse me, this is bolton, is it?

    owner : (with the fake mustache) no, it's ipswitch.

    mr. praline : (looking at the camera) that's inter-city rail for you.

    (mr praline goes to the train station. he addresses a man standing behind a desk marked "complaints.")

    mr. praline : i wish to make a complaint.

    attendant : i don't have to do this, you know!

    mr. praline : i beg your pardon...?

    attendant : i'm a qualified brain surgeon! i only do this 'cause i like being my own boss!

    mr. praline : excuse me, this is irrelevant, isn't it?

    attendant : oh yeah, well, most transcripts woulda stopped at the slug line.

    mr. praline : leave it to pythonet, eh?

    attendant : yeah, yeah.

    mr. praline : well, i wish to complain! i got on the bolton train and found myself deposited here in ipswitch.

    attendant : no, this is bolton.

    mr. praline : (to the camera) the pet shop owner's brother was lying!

    attendant : well, you can't blame british rail for that.

    mr. praline : if this is bolton, i shall return to the pet shop!

    (zoom in on the bewildered attendant. mr. praline returns to the pet shop.)

    (caption: "a little while later limited")

    mr. praline : i understand that this is bolton.

    owner : (still with the fake mustache) yeah?

    mr. praline : but you told me it was ipswitch!

    owner : (a bit meekly) it was a pun.

    mr. praline : a pun??

    owner : no, no ... not a pun ... what's the other thing where it reads the same backwards as forwards?

    (longish pause)

    mr. praline : a palindrome...?

    owner : yeah, yeah.

    mr. praline : it's not a palindrome! the palindrome of "bolton" would be "notlob!" it don't work!!

    owner : well, what do you want?

    mr. praline : no, i'm sorry! i'm not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer as i think this is getting too silly!

    owner : silly, sir?

    mr. praline : and take off that moustache!

    owner : (taking off moustache) silly, sir?

    mr. praline : yes, silly! i've come in here with a perfectly legitimate complaint and you have done everything in your power to turn my afternoon into a comedy of errors! this, therefore, is silly!

    (he slams his parrot down on the counter to illustrate the point.)

    owner : y-yeah. silly. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

    mr. praline : well.

    (excruciatingly long pause.)

    owner : (quietly) d'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

    (pause.)

    mr. praline : yeah, all right.

    (they leave quickly, arm in arm.)
  • cleese ile palin'in (ya da jones'un) daha onceleri how to irritate people adli sov icin yazdiklari bir skectir.. michael palin ile john cleese yillardir bu skeci canlandirirlar, mesela bir seferinde snl'da habersiz cikip ortaligi yarmislardir..

    bir baska ilginc notsa ingiliz polisi icin yapilan bir devlet yardim konseri ve benzeri hadisede her zamanki sahne kurulmustur.. sahne her zamanki gibi baslar, cleese "its dead, thats whats wrong with it" der, palin ise son derece duzgun bir tonla "ah, alin paraniz, ustune bu kuponlari da hediye ediyoruz, ozur dileriz" der.. cleese bir kac saniye dumur bakisindan sonra "eh, thatcher* bir seyleri degistirmis anlasilan" der ve skec biter, tabii herkes duble dumurdadir..
  • south park'ın bu skece ithafen özel bir bölümü vardı yanlış hatırlamıyorsam. cartman, dükkana ölü bir kenny ile giriyor ve olaylar gelişiyordu. tezgahtar kyle mıydı stan miydi çıkaramadım ama..
  • (bkz: ezber bozmak)
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npjoslcr2he
  • monty python'un drury lane'deki canli sovunda michael palin yapacagini yapip sahnede john cleese'i gulme krizine sokar.. kendini toparlayinca cleese seyirciye doner ve "nerede kalmistik unuttum, siradaki repligim neydi? diye sorunca seyirciden kirk kisi "well, it's scarcely a bloody replacement then, is it?" diye bagirir..

    iste boyle bir skectir..

    (meraklisina not: palin 'fazla konusmuyor' yerine 'eskisi gibi degil' demis..)
  • john cleese'in skeçin ortak yazarı olan graham chapman'ın cenazesinde o'na itafen "is no more. he has ceased to be..." gibi başlayan kısmını alıntıladığı kültleşmiş eser.
  • margaret thatcher bile oynamış. ben de kuş ötmediğinde oynamayı düşünüyorum bundan sonra.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq6tgapjcr0
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