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lord, if you don't help i can't get through this. i can't. lord i'm too old for games. please. and i'm tired of rhetoric, meaningless rhetoric. it never changes things. lord, please help me. help me
i was feeling god's pain! and i never had anything that's been any worth to god in my 50 years, that wasn't born in agony! never! never! dead, empty. and i know that sermons won't do it. i know that revelation won't do it, covenant won't do it. i know now, oh my god do i know it. until i have been in agony. and tell i have been angry, stubborn. i'm preaching sermons, oh god!
i broke down, and i wept. and i mourned. does it matter to you at all? i can't handle this. i can barely make it in today.
little by little you're losing it...the love of god, the love of christ! people i know that...were my friends and i see them go one by one, some of my closest friends. you're changing! you know what you were. you're changing! little by little something's happening to you. will it bring you to your knees? that's all the devil wants to do, you have to fight out it of you, and kill it! so you won't labor in prayer anymore, you won't weep before god anymore. go to hell! no weeping, not a word of prayer, it's all ruined! you're laughing. this is life and death. when the walls go down, ruin sets in.
where the tears? where's the mourning? where's the confessing? love of christ, agony of god's heart. we have sinned.