krapp's last tape

• ilk kez 1958 yilinda bundan 50 yil once bir ekim ayinda, londra'da sahnelenen tek kisilik bir beckett oyunu. 2000 yilinda atom egoyan john hurt'un oynadigi versiyonunu filme almistir ki sinema ile tiyatro arasinda bir yerde gecer bu film. birak montaji, kamera ilk 10-15 dakika yerinden bile kipirdamaz. john hurt inanilmaz yorumlar oyunu. bir yerde, oyunun en onemli cumlelerinin soylendigi yerde oyle birsey yapar ki john hurt...dokunur gecmisine imkansizca:
  
  krapp o dinledigi ses kaydinin karanlik bir gercek kesfettigini soyledigi bolumune gelince kufurler savurarak ileri sarar teybi ama yine ayni karanlik bilgiden bahsedilir, bir kez daha kufurler eder krapp, bir kez daha ileri alir. rahatsiz edilen bir kedi gibi hircinlasir krapp. sonra durdurdugunda teybi:
  
  "...my face in her breasts and my hand on her. we lay there without moving. but under us all moved, and moved us, gently, up and down, and from side to side."
  
  krapp durdurur teybi, gecmiste aradigi yeri bulmus gibi geri alir kaydi, o ani en basindan yasamak icin:
  
  upper lake, with the punt, bathed off the bank, then pushed out into the stream and drifted. she lay streched out on the floorboards with her hands under her head and her eyes closed. sun blazing down, bit of a breeze, water nice and lively. i noticed a scratch on her thigh and asked her how she came by it. picking gooseberries, she said. i said again i thought it was hopeless and no good going on, and she agreed, without opening her eyes...i asked her to look at me and after a few moments...after a few moments she did, but the eyes just slits, because of the glare. i bent over her to get them in the shadow and they opened...let me in....we drifted in among the flags and stuck. the way they went down, sighing, before the stem! i lay down across her with my face in her breasts and my hand on her. we lay there without moving. but under us all moved, and moved us, gently, up and down, and from side to side."
  
  burda john hurt'un krapp'i yavasca teybe dogru egilir, sevgilinin saclarini oksar gibi dokunur teybe. orda oyle sana birseyi yeniden yasatacak bir ses kaydi var ama o yasadigin seyin yerine koyacak biri yok. sevgilin ikamesi degil teyp. zaten krapp de bunu bildigi icin cok acikli hersey. krapp bunu bile bile teybe sarildigi icin, beckett bunu boyle yazdigi icin...
  sonra krapp kendine sinirlenir, ofkesini kayit etmek icin bir teyp cikarir, ama onu da yarida birakir. ve bir daha:
  
  "gooseberries, she said. i said again i thought it was hopeless and no good going on, and she agreed, without opening her eyes...i asked her to look at me and after a few moments...after a few moments she did, but the eyes just slits, because of the glare. i bent over her to get them in the shadow and they opened...let me in....we drifted in among the flags and stuck. the way they went down, sighing, before the stem! i lay down across her with my face in her breasts and my hand on her. we lay there without moving. but under us all moved, and moved us, gently, up and down, and from side to side.
  here i end this reel. box...three, spool five....perhaps my best years are gone. when there was a chance of happiness. but i wouldn't want them back. not with the fire in me now. no, i wouldn't want them back."
  
  bu oyunun benim icin en guzel yani da ilk izledigimde baskalarindan saklayamayacak kadar sikilmis olmamdir. sikildigim icin degil, sonraki izleyisimde dikkat ederek izleyince, onumde olan biten seye, aliskin oldugumdan daha cok, emek verince aslinda gozumun onunden akip giden seyin derinligini anlamami sagladigi, bunu ancak ikinci seferde sagladigi icin.