victoria: are you sure you don't wanna come up, i mean, it's only nine thirty.
george: i don't think we should. we really don't know each other very well.
victoria: who are you, george costanza?
george: i'm the opposite of every guy you've ever met.
george: you don't speak any english?
housekeeper: no english.
george: i would like to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body.
(no reaction) you don't understand! it's a miracle!
now you're gonna be funny, so what am i gonna be? i'm gonna be a short
bald guy with glasses who suddenly doesn't seem so funny!
(o bir loser)
"the most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.i mean, life is tough. it takes up a lot of your time. what do u get at the end of it? a death. what is that, a bonus ?!? i think the life cycle is all backwards. you should die first , get it out of the way. then you go live in an old age home. you get kicked out for being too healthy , go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. you work forty years until you are young enough to enjoy your retirement. you drink alcohol , you party, and you get ready for highschool. you go to primary school, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last nine months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! amen"
louise: george, i can't have sex.
george: with me or in general?
louise: i went to the doctor today. i have mono.
louise: oh i hope it's not a problem for you.
george: no, no, pff... how long is this not gonna be a problem for me?
-i have relationship george, but there is also independent george. that's the george you know, the george you grew up with -- movie george, coffee shop george, liar george, bawdy george.
-my boys can swim!
"if every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right."
-simple joke from a simple man...:)
"toasting makes me uncomfortable. but toast i love. never start the day without a good piece of toast. in fact, let's toast to toast."
" - george likes his spicy chicken."
" - i missed up on the make-up sex."
i'm losin it!!!!!!