şükela:  tümü | bugün
  • türkçe'ye çevirdiğimizde çoğu zaman bir boka benzemeyen fıkralardır. ingilizce küfürler, ingilizcedeki en güzel kalıplar gibi örnekleri arasında sanırım tek eksiğimiz bu başlıktı.

    "a man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. he breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

    he orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
    while he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! he probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. i saw how he kissed your neck." if he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. this guy is probably very dangerous. if he gets angry, he'll kill us. be strong, honey. i love you."

    to which his wife responds: "he wasn't kissing my neck. he was whispering in my ear. he told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. i told him it was in the bathroom. be strong honey. i love you too!!"

    edit: ulan çevirdiğimizde bi boka benzemiyo dedik ama bunun türkçe versiyonu da komik
  • "a woman with a baby gets on a bus!. the driver looks at the baby and says, "that's the ugliest baby i've ever seen!." the woman storms to the back of the bus in a huff!. she says to a man sitting next to her, "that bus driver just insulted me!." the man says, "you don't have to take that from him!. you go up there and tell him off!. go ahead, i'll watch your monkey!."
  • "a woman goes to church with her husband every week, but she is always humiliated by her husband falling asleep. so after one service she approached the vicar and asked him what she should do to stop him.
    the vicar gave her a sewing needle and said, "just stab him with this when he falls asleep"

    so the next week they go to church and sure enough the husband falls asleep. as the vicar gave a sermon he asked "who is the creator of all?" the woman poked her sleeping husband to wake him up and he shouted in pain "god!!!!", "yes" said the vicar.

    10 minutes later, he fell asleep again, as the vicar asked the audience "who is the son of god?" she poked him with the needle and he jolted awake shouting "jesus!!" "yes" replied the vicar

    near the end of the sermon he fell asleep again, and the vicar asked the audience "and what did eve say to adam after she gave birth to his 99th child?" and the woman poked her husband awake again, and he screamed at her "if you stick that fucking thing inside me one more time i'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!!"
  • biraz ırkçı olsa da;
    " -what happens if a pikey falls into the thames river?
    -it's pollution
    -what happens if all the pikeys fall into the thames river?
    -it's solution"
    aynı fıkrayı, fransa için, seine nehri, göçmenler, polüsyon, solüsyon kullanarak da anlatabilirsiniz.
    (bkz: komiklik şakalar)
  • evin oğlu başka bir şehirde öğrencidir.parasız kalınca eve telgraf çeker:
    no money,no funny,your sonny
    evden para yerine telgraf gelir:
    very bad, too sad, your dad.

    babam buradaki ironiden çok keyif alarak anlatırdı bu fıkrayı, rahmetle anıyorum.
  • bu fıkra türkçeye çevrildiğinde bi boka benzemeyen fıkralardan değildir, hatta muhtemelen türkçeden ingilizceye çevrilmiştir.

    lionel messi wants to make love to a girl, so he takes her home ... in the room he said : "make yourself comfortable, i'll be right back." a few minutes later he returned with two naked men! the girl exclaimed "who the hell is that? " messi said nervously, "i'm sorry, but i can not play without xavi and iniesta.
  • - knock knock!
    + who is there?
    - ... go fuck yourselves!

    (bkz: catch me if you can)
    (bkz: tom hanks)
  • an arabian guy at the aeroport:
    - name?
    - ahmed al-rhazib.
    - sex?
    - three to five times a week.
    - no, no… ı mean male or female?
    - male, female, sometimes camel.
    - holy cow!
    - yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
    - but isn’t that hostile?
    - horse style, doggy style, any style!
    - oh dear!
    - no, no! deer run too fast.
  • yeni duydugum, hosuma giden bir tanesi soyle:

    --- spoiler ---

    a pig and a chicken are walking down the road.
    the chicken says: "hey pig, ı was thinking we should open a restaurant!"
    pig replies: "hm, maybe, what would we call it?"
    the chicken responds: "how about 'ham-n-eggs'?"
    the pig thinks for a moment and says: "no thanks. ı'd be committed, but you'd only be involved!"
    --- spoiler ---
  • there are 4 chinese friends. their names are chu, du, su, fu.

    these friends want to live in america. so they go to american embassy. then american embassy says:

    - ok. if you want then you can. but you gotta change your names. with these idiotic names, you ain't gonna success anything.

    so these motherfuckers change their names.

    chu become chuck
    du become duck

    su and fu decided to stay in china.

    heh.