glamour

• jerry: (to george) what's the matter?
  
  george: (slowly shakes his head) my mother caught me.
  
  jerry: "caught" you? doing what?
  
  george: you know. (all three give him blank stares) i was alone..
  
  elaine: (making a face of surprise) you mean..?!
  
  george: (nods) uh-huh.
  
  kramer: (laughing) she caught you?
  
  (elaine laughs with kramer)
  
  jerry: where?
  
  george: (not really wanting to embellish) ..i stopped by the house to drop the car off, and i went inside for a few minutes.. nobody was there - they're supposed to be working. (jerry and elaine look at each other - enjoying the story) my mother had a glamour magazine, i started leafing through it..
  
  jerry: "glamour"?
  
  (kramer and elaine laugh slightly)
  
  george: ..so, one thing lead to another..
  
  jerry: so, what did she do?
  
  george: first she screams, "george, what are you doing?! my god!" and it looked like she was gonna faint - she started clutching the wall, trying to hang onto it.
  
  kramer: (reflecting on the story so far) man..
  
  george: i didn't know whether to try and keep her from falling, or zip up.
  
  jerry: what did you do?
  
  george: i zipped up!
  
  elaine: (wide-eyed) so, she fell?
  
  george: yeah. (noticing this makes him out to be the bad kid, he gets defensive) well, i couldn't run over there the way i was!
  
  elaine: no, i guess you couldn't have..
  
  jerry: (in the middle of elaine's sentence, smiling) no, i wouldn't think so.
  
  elaine: (finishing it off) ..done that.
  
  george: so, she fell, and then she started screaming, "my back! my back!" so, i picked her up and took her to the hospital.
  
  elaine: (between chuckles) how is she?
  
  george: (somewhat angered) she's in traction.
  
  elaine: (still laughing) ok, i'm sorry.
  
  george: it's not funny, elaine.
  
  elaine: (stifling her laughter) i know. i'm sorry. i'm serious.
  
  george: her back went out. she's gotta be there for a couple of days. all she said on the way over in the car was, "why, george, why?!".. i said, "because it's there!"
  
  (kramer laughs, sipping his drink)
  
  jerry: "glamour"?
  
  (elaine laughs)