i'm still here

• gecen hafta elime gecen pearl jam-lost dogs albumunun promo versiyonunda bulunan siirimsi sarki.
  
  no code doneminde eddie tarafindan yazilmis; oldukca depresif bir o kadar da deha kokan sozlere sahip, bir yirmili yas bunalimi ancak bu kadar guzel tasvir edilir dedirten sarki. fondaki flanger efektli gitar tonuna ayrica hasta oluna.
  
  gus van sant filmlerine harika fon muzigi olur kanisindayim.
  
  sozleri su sekilde:
  
  she said to me, over the phone
  she wanted to see other people
  i thought, "well then, look around, they're everywhere"
  said that she was confused...
  i thought, "darling, join the club"
  24 years old, mid-life crisis
  nowadays hits you when you're young
  i hung up, she called back, i hung up again
  the process had already started
  at least it happened quick
  i swear, i died inside that night
  my friend, he called
  i didn't mention a thing
  the last thing he said was, "be sound"
  sound...
  i contemplated an awful thing, i hate to admit
  i just thought those would be such appropriate last words
  but i'm still here
  and small
  so small.. how could this struggle seem so big?
  so big...
  while the palms in the breeze still blow green
  and the waves in the sea still absolute blue
  but the horror
  every single thing i see is a reminder of her
  never thought i'd curse the day i met her
  and since she's gone and wouldn't hear
  who would care? what good would that do?
  but i'm still here
  so i imagine in a month...or 12
  i'l be somewhere having a drink
  laughing at a stupid joke
  or just another stupid thing
  and i can see myself stopping short
  drifting out of the present
  sucked by the undertow and pulled out deep
  and there i am, standing
  wet grass and white headstones all in rows
  and in the distance there's one, off on its own
  so i stop, kneel
  my new home...
  and i picture a sober awakening, a re-entry into this little bar scene
  sip my drink til the ice hits my lip
  order another round
  and that's it for now
  sorry
  never been too good at happy endings...