message in a bottle

• ilk mektup :
  
  dear catherine,
  i'm sorry i haven't talked to you in so long. i feel i've been lost. no
  bearings, no compass. i kept crashing into things, a little crazy i guess.
  i've never been lost before. you were my true north. i could always steer
  for home when you were home. forgive me for being so angry when you left.
  i still think some mistake's been made and i'm waiting for god to take it
  back. but i'm doing better now. the work helps me. most of all, you help
  me. you came into my dream last night with that smile of yours that always
  held me like a lover, rocked me like a child. all i remember from the dream
  is a feeling of peace. i woke up with that feeling and tried to keep it
  alive as along as i could.
  i'm writing to tell you that i'm on a journey toward that peace. and to
  tell you i'm sorry about so many things.
  i'm sorry i didn't take better care of you so that you never spent one
  minute being cold or scared or sick.
  i'm sorry i didn't try harder to find the words to tell you what i was
  feeling. i'm sorry i never fixed the screen door. i fixed it now. i'm sorry
  i ever fought with you.
  i'm sorry i didn't apologize more. i was too proud.
  i'm sorry i didn't bring you more compliments on everything you wore and
  every way you fixed your hair.
  i'm sorry i didn't hold on to you with so much strength that even god
  couldn't pull you away.
  
  all my love,
  g